Is it an option

Song of the Day:: Muse - Feelin Good

Quote of the Day:: "For you to ask advice on the rules of love is no better than to ask advice on the rules of madness"

Its not that simple. Is it ever?

Just another random thought.

"I felt the cool buckle dig into my back as I tried to adjust my arms for the thousandth time that hour. The tears ran hot down my face making the room blurry. That gray washed out room, so small, so quiet. Quiet enough to hear the ringing in my ears of his last words to me.

"I love you," he said, " I think you know that this is best option."

When the love of your life commits you to an insane asylum the last thing on your mind is that THIS is the best option. The straight jacket they put me in smelled of moth balls and canvas. My face ached from a days worth of silent sobs. Trying to maintain wasn't even a possibility at this point. From now until I was "well" there will be pills, leather straps on my bed, and the room when I act up. I know for certain that their next route is electro shock therapy. "I love you" he says. I fear what he would have done had he not loved me.

I placed my cheek against the padded wall and tried to wipe my tears away. I knew I could only do this three more times before I made my cheek bleed.

They called it purification. No drugs, not yet anyway.

Any tea that I wanted, a steady diet of green anything, and freakish amount of water. The detox process is different with everyone. At this point Ive hit the manic phase. There is no hope. I want to disappear. My skin will never be the right shade of me. The usual manic depressive thoughts run through my head as plain as greeting cards."